The older I get and the more history I have to reflect on, it seems that my weakest moments came suddenly and unexpectedly when I felt strong and confident. I found confidence in business accolades and creative endeavors. But, beneath it was an ever present insecurity. I always felt like life was a tightrope walk -alone.
I also can reflect back now and recognize that it was in my weakest moments, when everything came toppling down, that I found unshakable strength way beyond myself. I realized that when I put my life willingly and wholeheartedly into Gods loving hands, His strength carried me beyond anything I could imagine.
I felt the Love I had so desperately wanted my entire life.
Today I was reading Genesis and an artists palette flooded my thoughts. In Genesis, we learn that God created man and woman in His image. God created Adam first and then a “helpmate or helper suitable“ for him. “Suitable helpmate” meant something very different in its context and Hebrew origins than it does today. Those words are derived from the Hebrew words that meant she was the perfect person that God chose to create just for him as a helper in the greatest sense. The word also means she was a perfect fit “according to the opposite of him”. Like an artist palette, those opposites when standing alone were lacking something. Together they brought life.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who is fully satisfied. It seems we all are seeking to fill a void deep down in our heart and soul. Don’t get me wrong, I know people that have wonderful lives, surrounded by many who love and support them but, even so there’s a deep yearning in their hearts also.
Love keeps no record of right and wrong. And Love is not foolish. I learned the hard way to not allow people or events live on in my mind rent free. Releasing them brings freedom! Forgiving is not condoning, but rather forgiving is allowing yourself to step away from the pain.
On this Valentine’s Day evening, when the world is celebrating Love, I couldn’t shake the pain I saw deep in the eyes of the homeless as I was out running errands today. They are someone’s daughter or son, sister or brother, mother or father, someone’s friend…. they had someone somewhere. The cars whisk by and no one seems to care. I have met many people who stand in judgment, and condemn them for being where they’re at.
But the wealthy? They’re just as easy to identify. They are the ones with people fawning over them, their spouses, their children, what they wear and most anything they do or don’t do is applauded.
In both of these situations, it isn’t the poverty, and it isn’t the wealth that made them stand out, but rather the people that were around them - shunning or fawning.
There have been times in my life that I have appeared self-assured, bold, and confident of the path that I was on. The truth is, under the self-confidence was an insecure person, second-guessing herself all the time!
The older I have gotten, the more time I spend wanting to do what’s right for God and others. There are times that I have immobilized myself second-guessing, and not wanting to be out of God’s will. I’ve come to learn that as I’ve kept close to my creator that it is His desires that He has placed on my heart!
We are Loved. We were created to Love. We are not mistakes. We are perfectly created in the image of God. Gods plans for us are good.
In this climate of the daily increase of division, hatred and political vitriol, let us all remember the Oneness in which we were created. Let us put away all hypocrisy and keep our hearts and meditations on love and unity. Neither Father, Son or the blessed Holy Spirit are American politicians. All it takes is a little pressure and out of the mouth bursts the truths of what the heart full of.
Thinking about Black history month and the amazing black women that have been and continue to impact my life in such wonderful ways! Women in ministry, women in the arts, poets, authors and First Ladies. Do you know Madam CJ Walker? How about George Floyd?
Lord help me to remember that there are no “excepts” in this commandment. No except: that color, that side of the border, that side of the world, those that disagree with me, those that don’t follow You Jesus, those that I deem as sinners….and so on, and so on. Lord, help me to walk in LOVE.
The Holy Spirit is there even when you’re unaware of Him. He’s thee comforter. He’s gentle and He’s strong. He can handle it all. I believe that a praying friend is a wonderful gift. I also know the profound help we offer when we sit quietly and listen to the hurting. Even if all they can do is weep. Even if all they can do is breathe. The quiet presence of a loving friend ushers in the awareness of the closeness, the goodness of God.
Sometimes you just have to encourage yourself. Remind yourself that God is with you and He will never fail. I’ve seen mountains of opposition utterly crumble and be rendered silent in a moment. He’s a good, good Father that way! When people and circumstances let you down, remind yourself that God never will.
