Sometimes it isn’t all about chin up and put your best foot forward. Sometimes it’s about remembering that it is in our weakest moments that God strength shines so brightly.
I’ve had seasons in my life where I have gutted it out through confusing and painful times, most of those times feeling alone. The memorable ones, the times of real transformation have been when I truly let go and got very real with God. In doing so I had to acknowledge that I wasn’t alone. There He was, waiting for me to turn to Him.
He knows the end from the beginning! He knows our thoughts before we think them, and our words before they ever come out of our mouth. So the notion that I thought I was filling Him in on how I was really feeling is humorous.
The older I get and the more history I have to reflect on, it seems that my weakest moments came suddenly and unexpectedly when I felt strong and confident. I found confidence in business accolades and creative endeavors. But, beneath it was an ever present insecurity. I always felt like life was a tightrope walk -alone.
I also can reflect back now and recognize that it was in my weakest moments, when everything came toppling down, that I found unshakable strength way beyond myself. I realized that when I put my life willingly and wholeheartedly into Gods loving hands, His strength carried me beyond anything I could imagine.
I felt the Love I had so desperately wanted my entire life.
Love keeps no record of right and wrong. And Love is not foolish. I learned the hard way to not allow people or events live on in my mind rent free. Releasing them brings freedom! Forgiving is not condoning, but rather forgiving is allowing yourself to step away from the pain.
On this Valentine’s Day evening, when the world is celebrating Love, I couldn’t shake the pain I saw deep in the eyes of the homeless as I was out running errands today. They are someone’s daughter or son, sister or brother, mother or father, someone’s friend…. they had someone somewhere. The cars whisk by and no one seems to care. I have met many people who stand in judgment, and condemn them for being where they’re at.
But the wealthy? They’re just as easy to identify. They are the ones with people fawning over them, their spouses, their children, what they wear and most anything they do or don’t do is applauded.
In both of these situations, it isn’t the poverty, and it isn’t the wealth that made them stand out, but rather the people that were around them - shunning or fawning.
There have been times in my life that I have appeared self-assured, bold, and confident of the path that I was on. The truth is, under the self-confidence was an insecure person, second-guessing herself all the time!
The older I have gotten, the more time I spend wanting to do what’s right for God and others. There are times that I have immobilized myself second-guessing, and not wanting to be out of God’s will. I’ve come to learn that as I’ve kept close to my creator that it is His desires that He has placed on my heart!
Thinking about Black history month and the amazing black women that have been and continue to impact my life in such wonderful ways! Women in ministry, women in the arts, poets, authors and First Ladies. Do you know Madam CJ Walker? How about George Floyd?
The Holy Spirit is there even when you’re unaware of Him. He’s thee comforter. He’s gentle and He’s strong. He can handle it all. I believe that a praying friend is a wonderful gift. I also know the profound help we offer when we sit quietly and listen to the hurting. Even if all they can do is weep. Even if all they can do is breathe. The quiet presence of a loving friend ushers in the awareness of the closeness, the goodness of God.